Things I can only say this week at Thanksgiving and get away with it
1. Talk about a huge breast! 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3. It’s cool whip time. 4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst! 5. Whew, that’s one terrific spread! 6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat. 7. Are you ready for seconds yet? 8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it? 9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some. 10. Don’t play with your meat! 11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in. 12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once? 13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once. 14. You still have a little bit on your chin. 15. How long will it take after you stick it in? 16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up. 17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that! 18. That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen! 19. How long do I beat it before it’s ready?
The nice thing about turkeys is that they vaguely resemble a child’s outstretched hand. Clearly, there is no stronger argument for an intelligent designer of the universe than the fact that, when Thanksgiving comes around and authoritarian art must be created in the nation’s elementary schools, the students need only trace their off hand with a washable marker to create an instantly recognizable Thanksgiving icon, modulo the beak and wattle of course. It’s also interesting that so many of our images of Thanksgiving turkeys involve them not being killed, plucked, and eaten. The President pardons a turkey, cartoon turkeys on TV manage to avoid the axe, but when it comes to the actual dead turkey on our table, pass the gravy. A
I’ve always had this conceptual problem with food for decoration versus food you eat, and especially that nether realm occupied by parsley. And don’t even get me started on plastic sushi grass. Dried Indian corn is clearly on the “look but don’t lick” side of the equation, and it bothers me that the corn we display and the corn we digest are not the same corn. It’s disappointing, like those majestic billboards of steaming fast food burgers that look monstrous, but end up being approximately the size of a gearshift knob when you actually order them. C-
I sometimes find myself wondering things that no sane man should wonder. To wit: why did Pilgrims have buckles on their hats? Were they actual head fasteners or did the Pilgrims just have this whole belt theme happening, kind of like Lulu from Final Fantasy X, only with less cleavage and more threshing? Buckles or no buckles, Pilgrims signify one of the most important aspects of Thanksgiving: remembering those who fled religious oppression so that they could finally live free to oppress others for once in their lives. And who also ate food when it was available. C+
The cornucopia has never really appealed to me as a symbol, and I finally figured out why. It’s always pouring out wheat and gourds and fruit and healthy shit like that. That sort of thing is only paradisical if you were born on a hippie commune and never left. Those of us who know and treasure the feel of asphalt and the smell of plastic expect a bounty of cheese snacks in interesting shapes and deep-fried appetizers. Or at least some marshmallow bits. C
It’s interesting how many things we like to have around as holiday symbols, but hate when we have to clear them off our driveway—leaves, snow, leprechauns…I believe we account for this disparity by spending money. By dropping five bucks on mass-produced cardboard autumn leaves, we reassert ourselves as a first-world country, not one of those icky places where the leaves in your living space are the result of the natural actions of gravity and wind. Also, I think fear of Lyme disease may be a factor. D+
“As president, I believe that robotics can inspire young people to pursue science and engineering. And I also want to keep an eye on those robots in case they try anything.”—Barack Obama, speaking to Washington D.C. schoolkids on Monday as part of his science education initiative.
Hey Billy from Idaho, your letter says you want a PS3. Santa just changed it to “novelty calculator from Staples” 12:27 PM Nov 19th
"You better watch out, you better not cry." What is that, a rape anthem? Fucking carols man. 10:39 AM Nov 15th
Elf chicks are four apples high. There’s no amount of alcohol that makes four-apples-high hot. 8:28 AM Nov 7th
I’m making a list and checking it twice. Ha! Fuck that. Drinking and playing it by ear. 10:28 PM Oct 6th
A pet peeve of mine is when movies’ credits give names to the characters, when the characters have never had their names spoken in the movie at all. Or giving them last names. Why is this? Example: Short film (Terminated)—businessman sitting on a bench, woman who comes up to him and talks. That’s the film. Names are never spoken, but in the credits it’s “Lincoln” and “Jordana” (?!). I can see how it could be used, for instance, if the names had symbolic meaning, e.g. “Ahab”; even so, it would be kind of a meta-use, since the credit sequence is outside the “world” in the film itself.
Last night at the Festival, I saw a collection of short films, all by Colorado filmmakers. Most of the filmmakers were there in person, and at the end of the program, they went up to the front of the theater for the Q & A.
Maybe I’m bein’ all geezer here, but… If you’re going to be on stage in front of 120 people for a screening of your film at a film festival, wouldn’t you think to wear something other than old jeans and a beat-up t-shirt? This is what several, not just one, of the guys were wearing. I mean, you don’t need a three-piece suit, but maybe some slacks, or even a sports jacket and tie? I know sartorial Colorado isn’t NYC or LA (which I’m extremely happy about, don’t get me wrong), but…come on, people!
So Rachel Lee Cook came through our concession-stand line at the Film Festival on Sunday—the con staff pointed her out to me. I just went through her entry on IMDB, and aside from perhaps hearing her voice in a Robot Chicken episode, I haven’t seen one single TV show or movie that she has ever been in or done voice work for. Ah, celebrity!
In her book, apparently, Sarah Palin complains about how she was handled (or mishandled) by McCain’s campaign aides, given cards to read from with “non-answers,” told exactly what to wear, treated soooo badly by the media, and how she wishes she could have done things “her way.”
But—and I haven’t seen this asked anywhere—is someone who’s so compliant that she can be completely controlled by campaign handlers and reporters really who we want in any kind of office? It’s just another example of how she’s the wrong person for any high office outside of Wasilla. “Waah waah waah, the big bad campaign aides gave me the wrong answers to say.” Yeah, that’s who I’d want as a VP (or Presidential nominee). Especially coming from someone who claims to be so “mavericky” and independent.
That said, the idea of her as the GOP nominee makes me giddy.
Go through festival program, pick which films I want to see/maybe see/not see - Done
Highlight films I want to see on the schedule, and prioritize them (so if my first choice is unavailable, I can ask for my second choice without having to look back through the schedule) - Done
Shop for and prepare food in advance, so I have pre-packed lunches and don’t need to waste time cooking and getting food ready - Done
Clean my place, so I don’t need to worry about doing that during the festival - Done
Do all my laundry, so don’t have to worry about not having clothes - Half Done
Tonight’s the night I have to finish up with all that—the cleaning, the laundry/ironing, etc.. Friday evening the festival starts in earnest. Rocky and I have tickets for two films: Heart of Time and Before Tomorrow; everything else I’m counting on my staff pass for.
Precious (2009) - Man, what a powerful film! Rocky and I saw a pre-Festival employee screening last night, and it was fantastic. Even though it was crazy depressing, there was still a message of hope to it. All the acting was great, too. I think I’m being obvious when I think it’ll get at least Oscar nominations for Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress (for Mo’Nique, her mother), Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Picture. I would be very surprised if there weren’t at least three wins out of those. Anyway, go see it.
SORTA SPOILERS AHEAD:
The only criticisms I have are these two:
1. It seemed to cover almost too many social issues all in the one movie: Education. Welfare. Obesity and nutrition. HIV. Child & spouse abuse and incest. Teen pregnancy. Battered/homeless shelter availability. There was even a nod to “positive gay role models” (not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course; it’s just that it’s yet another social hot-button issue touched on). Not that all the above don’t happen, or even happen to the same person—I’m sure it’s scarily common. It was just a lot of “messages” all in one film…
2. Besides the protagonist, all of the “good” or most helpful people in the film are white or quite light African-Americans (Ms. Rains, Ms. Weiss, Precious’ principal that gets her into the alternative school, Ms. Rains’ joyful, intelligent partner; even the male nurse and other boys she daydreams about). The most evil person in the film, her father, is never fully portrayed, but in quick close-ups, they show his skin as very dark, hairy, and sweaty. Now, perhaps this is just casting: the actress playing Precious is quite dark, and Mo’nique, the actress playing her mother, is lighter than her. Therefore, her father would most likely be darker. And certainly, every one of the actors are quite good in their roles (Mariah Carey as a social worker had some great scenes). And it doesn’t seem like the film is about race or racial conflict, necessarily. And who knows—maybe it was a conscious decision by the filmmaker (to not have anyone be as dark as Precious would just increase her isolation). But still, it was something that I noticed. I might need to think of this some more.
Woot! Got a new bike on Saturday, a black-and-cream-colored Jamis Coda. Got toe clips and some classy fenders, too.
After getting it home, I put hose clamps on the wheel quick-release levers, so if I leave a wheel unlocked, it won’t easily walk away. Attached a light set and my bike lock holder and a water bottle cage. Can’t wait to ride it on a long ride.
Rode it into work today, which was awesome, but weird thing is, the seat felt really low, like, a couple inches low. Dunno how it changed since I test-rode it on Saturday—or was the Saturday test ride the same and I just feel different now? Weird. Anyway, I’ve already put some zip ties around the seat’s adjust/quick release lever, so I’ll need to cut those off before I can adjust the seat to a better height.
Left to do: stencil my initials onto the bike (permanently personalizing a bike makes it less attractive to thieves) and attach some el-wire spirals to make it even more lit-up at night. I worked on the el-wire last night, repairing the el-wire transformer—my soldering skills are actually pretty good, considering it’s been a year since I last wired anything. The el-wire spirals I’m not super happy with, though. I’m using coat-hanger wire, bent into a spiral, with the el-wire epoxied on (this way, there aren’t all the tiny zip ties holding the el-wire to the wire spiral that I’d used in the past). But the epoxy gives it al real glossy shine, and the whole thing just kinda looks lumpy and…well, not professional enough for the new bike. I wonder if I were to paint the wire black, if that would help (I didn’t want to paint it before, because I was worried that the epoxy/el-wire would then just pull the paint off and not stick to the metal of the wire. Maybe just painting the part of the wire that’s not going to be epoxied?) This is getting to be more of a project than I’d planned. But when the spirals are on, it looks really good.
Bricolage, pronounced is a term used in several disciplines, among them the visual arts and literature, to refer to the construction or creation of a work from a diverse range of things which happen to be available, or a work created by such a process. The term is borrowed from the French word bricolage, from the verb bricoler – the core meaning in French being, “fiddle, tinker” and, by extension, “make creative and resourceful use of whatever materials are to hand (regardless of their original purpose)”. A person who engages in bricolage is a bricoleur.
This is how I do most of my art and projects—start with an idea and tinker with it until it works. Je suis un brocoleur.
Yeah, unfortunately, the cops usually say that they’ll just arrest people using state law, not city law.
This bothers me. Obviously, this is what the people of Breckenridge want. The Breckenridge police department is paid for by the citizens of Breckenridge. So why will the cops insist on seeking out other laws (i.e., state or federal ones) to harass pot smokers?
Hopefully, the police department or the city will realize that it’s their job to serve the citizens of their district, not cherry-pick various jurisditional laws to get around the clear wishes of the people that they work for, for whatever they think are the “right” laws to enforce.